what if I told you I feel like I know you; but we never met

[dreamsofwords]

It was long-standing and practical tradition that when any of the Suits held a ball, or a masquerade, or a feast - that school and work was canceled the next day. If the children weren't old enough to go, their parents had or they'd worked it, and it was simpler all around to just not expect anyone to fully function the next day.

This time around, it had been the Clubs hosting a garden dance to celebrate the summer solstice, complete with glowing fairy lights and a few dances with the very beautiful, very graceful, but slightly dim Elani of the Clubs. Most likely a mistake, Alasdair thought the next morning. He didn't think Elani would have got any ideas about it; she was still hung up on Lancelot despite him being almost certainly dead. No, it was his mother who was going to be the overly excited problem. He was the oldest, the only boy, and any time he paid attention to a woman...well, she was a mother. A Deck mother. It came with certain tiresome habits.

That was a problem for later, though, and after he'd dragged himself out of bed well into the morning and gulped enough coffee to be a facsimile of a human, Alasdair holed up in his library to do some writing. Once he'd pushed enough words out in his current work in progress, he stumbled back into his kitchen and pulled out a bottle of wine while he considered dinner options. Maybe the grill, he thought idly as he poured cabernet into a glass. He had that steak, and he could make a salad to go with.

Alasdair didn't get much further than that when he heard a sharp knock at the door, and he raised a single brow before walking that way, wineglass abandoned on the counter. "Your Majesty," he drew out as he saw who was waiting outside. "To what do I owe the pleasure, darling?"

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[knifeaddict]

Never could she have imagined a day that hearing her title would bring, pride aside, a degree of displeasure with it. The Court of Spades is, as so often, in disarray, and however much she might have brought that on herself, she is willing to ignore her own involvement to focus more on the inconvenience of it. It is more in her nature to find fault with the king than it is to look into a mirror and see the occasional answer.

She has, of course, no true reason to be there. Taunting him for his apparent interest in Elani is not reason enough, but it did cost her some sleep last night, and she has mulled it over a few times over the course of a truly unpleasant day. It is the sort of thing, she decides, that must be nipped in the bud. "Alasdair." Ever a clear sign that she is not best pleased, those times when she is not using the old faithful nickname. "I saw my sister earlier, and figured there is no reason not to pass by."

Uninvited and without a warning. "I trust I am not disrupting anything."

[dreamsofwords]

He steps aside, motioning her inside. It doesn't occur to him that dancing three times with Elani McCartney would have even registered with Thea; dancing is what he does at these things. He doesn't look good brooding in a corner with a glass of wine.

He tilts his head slightly at the Alasdair in that tight tone, but he doesn't assume it has anything to do with him. She's, after all, a Queen, and frankly it seems like nothing but a headache from start to finish. His father has never had any ambition - these days, his father only remembers who he is on a good day - but his mother is a long-time Ten of Hearts who always thought her eldest could be Ace or Jack if he wanted. Alasdair didn't want. "You're disrupting my glass of wine," he says dryly as he waves her towards the kitchen. "But I could be convinced to share."

He doesn't wait for an answer before he gets out a second glass and pours a generous amount. They know each other well.

[knifeaddict]

There is never a point at which Athena does not feel mildly displaced in a kitchen. Raised as the daughter of the King and Queen of Hearts, cooking has never featured into her lessons, and her ambitious rise to her current rank was, for one, quick, and for another accompanied by an already-ongoing dalliance with her future husband, the reigning King of Spades. She has, in short, never lived normally – outside a castle, with a kitchen that demanded to be used, or a bathroom she had to clean herself, or groceries that required purchasing. She has, in fact, never produced a food more complex than a sandwich. Perhaps that is why she gives the microwave a sidelong glance.

"Thank you," she says, the sort of grace she would hardly permit a servant, and takes her glass of wine – it does not surprise her that Allie can sense the distinct need for something of this sort.

"You seemed to be thoroughly enjoying yourself last night."

[dreamsofwords]

Learning to cook had been something of a necessity for Alasdair. Not growing up, of course - while they hadn't lived in the castle, they'd lived close enough that it was hardly worth burning down the kitchen instead of dining in the hall. The necessity had come much later, long after Athena had left for the Spades and he'd found himself a more distant house in town where he could be left alone occasionally. Even then he'd depended heavily on pub food, for about six months. Then he'd bought a very basic cookbook out of sheer desperation.

He still doesn't manage anything either elegant or complex, but he's secure that he won't be eating charred chicken these days.

Alasdair glances over from where he's started pulling a pile of vegetables out of the refrigerator, and the eyebrow goes up again. "Did I?" he says as he dumps lettuce and various other odds and ends on the counter, and then gets the steak out to rest. "No more than usual. If I don't go and dance, then there are questions the next day." Though apparently there are questions anyway, he thinks, a dimple flashing in his cheek. "You never taught me how to effectively terrify people over a wineglass, after all."

[knifeaddict]

"Most of these people have attended at least one of my challenges." The generally bloody duels she favours do make any targeted glare more efficient than, say, a dance challenge. Not that he is not a skilled dancer, or that she minds attending his challenges – though secretly, and she would never voice it out loud, she quite agrees with his mother on the matter of their lacking frequency. He could have climbed higher. Could climb higher still.

Though that seems like a debate without a satisfying ending, and, in her experience, a high rank does not always work in her favour. Were she not holding her glass of wine, she might toy with her wedding ring.

She watches his progress in the kitchen with some interest, but makes, of course, no motion to aid him. He owns a fine set of knives – she could, no doubt, bring them to good use – but certainly not in relation to those vegetables. "I have a question regardless." She sounds already displeased. "Elani?"

[dreamsofwords]

He wouldn't necessarily be surprised about her opinion there. And likely he'll give in within a year or so, and challenge up a rank or two. Seven or Eight is all he needs for his purposes, though, those purposes being intimidating helicopter parents and keeping his own off his back. Mostly. "It's certainly always been a show," he says dryly as he seasons steak and then starts slicing vegetables for the salad. He attended all of them; a show of support Thea probably didn't really need from him, but regardless.

Besides, it's quelled a certain kind of busybody, the kind that rudely insists that he doesn't know what Athena is really like. Of course he knows. They've been friends, and remained friends, since they were children.

He looks up at that sharp, sardonic Elani - and look, he quite agrees. Elani teaches music and dance at the school as well as private lessons for Eileen, and any time he's in conversation with her for longer than fifteen minutes, he thinks he might be dying. A little. Five minutes at a time on the dance floor is ideal. But that doesn't mean he can't tease a little bit. Just because he's the nice friend doesn't mean he's always nice.

"What about Elani?" he says, his lashes veiling mischievous brown eyes. "She's nice and pretty. Dances well." And dumber than a box of rocks. "My mother likes her."

[knifeaddict]

A show, he says, and she takes it as a form of praise, the sort she can drink to. Occasionally, they were for show – mostly, on her way up, she had eliminated the greatest threats to her power. Once there, challengers came few and far between, and as much as she would never admit it, some of it must be tied to her marriage to David: one would need a backup plan that features a new king as well, if one were to try and murder her. That means two would need to rise, more or less in unison, and that was difficult to achieve. Any straggling challengers, however, have been neatly killed in the same arena that saw her become Queen in the first place.

"Has anyone told your mother recently that she has terrible taste?" Once upon a time, Allie's mother had been quite fond of her, the way many of her male childhood companions' mothers and fathers had liked her. Poised to be the Queen of Hearts, she would have made a most excellent match, and provided ready access to all manners of high ranks at her side...

Well, that liking has died down dramatically since she ran for the hills of another Suit as soon as she was old enough.

[dreamsofwords]

Catherine DeWitt is known to have exquisite taste and a brain sharp enough to be a Diamond, at least, if not a Spade. However, they're also in a society where men marry in their twenties or not at all, and Alasdair is over thirty these days. He hasn't dated since Evangeline Huntly broke up with him when they were twenty-six.

And of course - of course - prior to Evangeline of the very Heartly Huntlys, Catherine had been very keen on the idea of Alasdair and Athena, King and Queen of Hearts. Keen enough that he'd had lessons in arts he hasn't used much of in years, just because Athena had taken a shine to them. Fencing, some form of hand-to-hand combat. Alas, it came to nothing so far as Catherine's concerned, and worse yet, Allie has never really strayed from Thea's side.

He doesn't mind letting Thea suffer another minute imagining a horrific white wedding with lots of singing McCartneys, but he's well aware he can only tease so long here before he breaks. Alasdair strolls out on the deck to light the grill, and she can follow him or not. Either way, he's going to laugh when he turns to her again. "Thea. Darling," he says. "Come on, I'm not that much of a masochist. Elani would drive me insane within a week. She is, however, tolerable for three to five minutes at a time on the dance floor." So no, of course he has no designs on Elani; he hasn't completely lost his mind yet.

He refills his wineglass and takes another drink. "Now, if you danced with me at these things, I wouldn't have to resort to a little girl who uses all her brain capacity for songs and dances."

[knifeaddict]

Of course she shadows him out onto the deck; it is of utmost importance that she misses no minute expression or shift in stance where the subject of conversation is concerned. Why it troubles her so deeply to have seen him dancing with - and smiling at - Elani need no further investigation. She simply does not wish it.

Curiously, she had not minded Evangeline Huntly, but then, while Evangeline was present, Athena herself had still been quite happily swaying on Cloud Nine with David. Hard to imagine now that even their dances carry an undercurrent of threat and malaise to them. Contrary to popular belief, she does not hate dancing so much, though like many things she once did for mere pleasure, it now falls under her array of tools – a dance is a convenient time to sow the seeds of a scheme or two.

She almost forgot it could be done for the pleasure of it, until he chose to remind her.

"My husband would not much like that, I am afraid." What reason could she have, after all? It cannot be diplomacy, and even friendship is more of a threat.

[dreamsofwords]

Someone lacking self-preservation instincts might suggest jealousy. Alasdair does not have all that many self-preservation instincts, but he has known Athena too long and in a strictly platonic way. He's also had a few too many failed relationships to have much in the way of typical male confidence, so to speak. This is all to say that jealousy doesn't really occur to him.

He leans against the deck rail, swirling red wine in his glass as he nods very soberly at her. "Ah, yes, of course. David has always been rabidly jealous of me, known Casanova that I am." The Green isn't far away, and Alasdair can hear the music floating across the grass even though there's no one in sight. "But he's not here now."

Alasdair, this is a bad idea.

[knifeaddict]

"His is a mistrust just longing to take root." She is merely calling a Spade a Spade, and the irony of her calling David jealous and paranoid is rich, very rich indeed. It is a favoured accusation to level against the other, each time brought on with some sense of triumph to it, and always mutually true.

Though she isn't so much thinking of David now. "But you are right," she goes on, stepping ever so slightly closer, "he is not here."

This is, however, her closest friend. Someone she has known for as long as she can recall, and trusted implicitly through most of her life. This is not a game she can play without the inevitable risk of wagering something she is unwilling to lose. Perhaps that is why, just as quick as she's leaned in, she steps on further out, as if to examine his grill.

[dreamsofwords]

She isn't wrong...on a few different fronts. Alasdair hadn't recognized it at eighteen, but David is a congenial and charming mask on top of six feet of pure suspicion and mistrust. Now, of course, Allie is old enough and cynical enough to see the cracks in the mask that may or may not have been there when the two A's had been teenagers. There might have been none, then. David had been very sure of Thea when she was bloodthirsty and adoring, no reason not to be. Now even Alasdair can see the reasons.

Which, of course, is why Athena isn't wrong to keep a slight and cautious distance, even if it's only them here. No need to borrow trouble, after all. It has to be caution, and nothing else. It couldn't be the habitual flirting bearing fruit after half a decade, and it couldn't be that there was ever a reason that the flirting started. That's just crazy talk.

Friendship is letting her sidestep him and the possibly too romantic slow dance, so instead Alasdair peers over her shoulder. "It looks ready," he says and nudges her a little so he can slide the steak over the flames. "Anywhere you need to be for dinner?" He asks. "I could prove that I've learned not to poison myself by burning everything I cook."

He puts a cheerful face on it, but Alasdair DeWitt, one way or another, ends up eating a lot of meals alone. He spends a lot of hours alone. He keeps a lot more secrets than anyone could imagine a middling-ranked Heart to have. Given that, no one can really blame him for trying to sweet-talk Athena into staying a little longer. She's the one who knows some of those secrets, and she's the one who has always known him to be more complex than the face he wears.

[knifeaddict]

They are outside, and the distant music reminds her that one can never be truly alone, in the Deck. It is amplified, always, by her rank – every child knows the Kings, Queens, Jacks, and Aces. The lower the rank, the better for any sense of anonymity, but no matter how high or low, no one was invisible when caught in the net of a skilful spymaster.

It would mean nothing, of course. Even if they were to dance here by themselves, even if she chooses to stay for dinner, even if a glass of wine shared in the evenings became a habit – it means nothing. She is past the point where she is willing to grant others meaning beyond what they can do for her, and if she repeats this often enough, it will become a kind of gospel truth. After all, isn't an evening visit after a horrid day the perfect way to tell a dear friend that you really do not care either way?

It is not, in the end, an admission of any sort of need.

"I have a few standing invitations." This is not unusual, and neither is the fact that she seemingly makes no motion to attend to any of them. "Yours is the most tempting." Does this count for flirting? "Even if you burn it all, at least the company will be delightful."

[dreamsofwords]

His eyes crinkle at the corner as he smiles at her in a way that, unbeknownst to (or at least unacknowledged by) him has had more than one sixteen year old Two composing internal romance novels involving their literature teacher sweeping them off their feet. It's not a likely scenario. "I'm honored," he says. His tone is split evenly between sardonic, flourishing, and genuine.

It does not take long for the steak to grill to an acceptable medium rare, and soon they're back inside. He refills their glasses and she watches him plate the steak and salad before sliding them onto his table. It's one of those that are long enough for a medium-sized family, but mostly he grades papers there or plots his next novel.

Alasdair takes a bite of his steak and watches Athena take a bite of hers before he leans in. His legs stretch out under the table and the sleeve of his t-shirt tightens around his arm as he props his elbows on the surface. "You looked a little on edge when you arrived," he says. "I don't imagine it was all worrying that I was going to tie myself to some kind of, I don't know, sanitized fairy princess." It's never the time to say that he imagines that the original fairy princesses were more like Athena, both in looks and personality. Gorgeous and at least a little bloodthirsty, because you'd have to be to thrive in the feral world of the Brothers Grimm.

It's definitely not something he's mused about on and off for years, of course.

[knifeaddict]

Whenever she visits him here, she wonders at what sort of place he stays at when he is in New York. Something utilitarian? Or something unusually extravagant? Not that she would ever admit to suffering from any sort of curiosity about what lies beyond the Deck. Her trips outside have been few and far between, and even the most delicious steak, grilled with meticulous precision, turns bitterly dry on her tongue when she thinks of her honeymoon.

"You know very well that she does not even look like royalty." Where that odd flare of jealousy comes from is left to the imagination, and she washes it down with another sip of his wine. If her eyes lingered on his arm, she is not willing to discuss it at the moment.

"It is nothing out of the ordinary." Which is to say that her rank, as usual, calls for the herding of cats. "The King and I had another pointed disagreement on the direction of the Suit."

[dreamsofwords]

It's hotels for him, in New York, and for all that he lives a simple life by Deck standards, those standards are still too high for a chain motel near Times Square. It's the Plaza for him, and he suspects Athena would approve - or at least find it acceptable. She should go with him sometime, he thinks as he picks up his wineglass and watches her over the rim. Of course, invitations have always been difficult, because of David.

But it's been some time before there's been any love lost between the Spade royals.

"I had no idea Elani had annoyed you so much, Thea," he says with a light laugh before he takes a sip of wine. It probably was back when the Club girl was traipsing into Spade Castle once or twice a week with the lethally terrifying upper Spade who followed her around. Fox. That whole thing was part of Alasdair's dumber than a box of rocks estimation.

It's not worth focusing on Elani, of course. "Ah," he says. It is a single syllable that says a wealth of things about David, King of Spades. He and Alasdair had gotten along...once. Not as much for the last few years. "Sometimes I think he didn't realize you had a spine when he married you." Among other things. Of course, Thea had been fifteen or so when she'd met David.

Alasdair didn't connect how that was maybe not great for a bunch of years after that.

He tilts his head as he toys with his salad. "I have to go to New York in a week or so," he says. "Do you want to get away for a few days?"

[knifeaddict]

It is distinctly not worth focusing on Elani, even less so now that her name on his tongue sends an unpleasant chill of jealousy down her spine. She would rather the girl would not be mentioned at all – unfortunately, this opens up plenty of space for a different, difficult subject. Marriage had been awfully easy, in the beginning, when they shared a goal, the idea of a unified Suit under them, and conspiracies debated between the sheets. And they had won, hadn't they?

Only then, the last couple of years had struck – arguably culminating in her attempting to murder her husband, something that she had distinctly not shared with Allie. And still, there had been another attempt at a reunion, and still, his jealousy drives her mad with how unreasonable it is... That is, until she hit the point of wondering why she bothered with faithfulness if her husband expected the opposite, anyway.

Even now that 'love' might not best describe what they have – far from – she rolls her eyes at the sound Allie makes.

"Oh, he was very aware. I reckon that was part of the appeal." She would have gotten nowhere without her willpower. "Until it went against some of his ideas."

And he would hate for her to take a trip off deck without him. And she would, if she is honest, enjoy some time away with Allie, the way they used to have as teens. "A few days away sound lovely. I could use a vacation, it's been ages."

[dreamsofwords]

For all that his morals have grown a little twisted since they were young, like a tree that got hit by a bolt of lightning once and continued on a new path after, Allie would not likely have approved of Athena's grand plot to get rid of David. It's best he doesn't know. He can guess or he knows some of the rest - David's persistent and frankly irrational jealousy, the schism it's caused between the Spade royals. He knows, of course, that Thea is much less happy than she was a few years ago.

Making Athena happy had been David's saving grace with Alasdair in those preceding years, to be honest, especially after Evie Huntly had unceremoniously dropped him and he hadn't even had his own relationship to distract him anymore.

"We used to sneak off every few months," he says out loud as he sets his wineglass back down. It would have and did terrify both their parents, who would much rather their children stay put in the weird and insular world of the Deck. Then, of course, they'd rarely done anything as exciting as a major Outside city. New York and London had both been overwhelming experiences his first times. "It'll be just like old times, darling."

Rest assured, Athena, he'd never call Elani darling.

[knifeaddict]

There are a few things that she does not quite voice around him – though the bits and pieces are there, and he is clever, so he might have picked them up along the way. It is David's jealousy that fuels most of her frustration, but the growing gap between the Spades loyal to the King and those loyal to the Queen is an ideological one as well. Athena has never been satisfied with anything less than supremacy, no matter how impractical.

"That we did." And she'd liked those excursions outside the Deck for the thrill, though she had never quite taken a true shine to the outside world. It is too big, too crowded, too far outside her control. The excitement came from the secrets, from sneaking out with her best friend against their parents' explicit orders, from the inevitable danger that is the wider world outside. It is no wonder, in the end, that he built something out there, while she chose a path almost comically similar to what her parents wanted – only in the wrong Suit entirely.

She samples her salad, giving herself time to consider his proposal. "I am curious to see how you live outside the Deck."

[dreamsofwords]

It's been a long time since things were as they were when they were young, and even then there were secrets. There were always things Athena didn't tell him and, frankly, there were always a few he didn't tell her, either. Still, he's a smart man; they've known each other forever. He knows who Athena is, even without the details.

Sometimes over the years, he's wondered what would have happened if he'd followed her when she'd gone to the Spades. It wouldn't have been such a crisis in his family, on paper at least, with half of them being Clubs already. But Clubs and Spades were two different kettles of fish and probably - probably - he's better off where he is, even if for some years it had left him in the position of feeling adrift. That's probably why he's taken so well to the double life he leads on and off-Deck. At home, he's a good mid-ranked Card with a job and a house and a loving family. His father is...not well, but all else appears nearly ideal.

Off-Deck, he plays a more exciting and dramatic role that more closely aligns with secret fantasies he'd had when the two of them had run away from home. His dimples deepen in his cheeks, and he raises his eyebrows. "The last time I was there," he says, "I heard my editor's assistant theorizing that I was some kind of minor prince from a tiny European nation."